The RSVP

a poem in response to 'The Invitation' by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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Fully living is what I ache for.

Freely expressing is what brings the dreams my mind creates

into reality,

bringing my heart closer to the surface,

closer to me so I may bring it closer to all of you.

That's what I ache for-

to live a life fully through love that's true.

 

My heart's longing is to know its own belonging-

to flow openly without warning,

to rejoice in each moment's dawning,

to unite with itself and thus the world-

forever longing its pulses and waves

across the layers and caves of space and humanity

until we are all universally free

of angst, anxiety,

suspicion and worry,

trepidations and timidity

not just within ourselves

but all our entire human family

so that we may love

in prosperity and live globally

in tranquility.

That is my heart's longing,

to love just me

as I would a lover

or a brother

or my own child as a mother.

You should long for you before anything.

And then you may love everything.

 

22 is my age.

But it is beyond 22 times that I've looked like a fool for love.

For love is what drives and moves me,

guides me and defines me.

How can you put a number on an experience,

how can you quantify love?

Through tallies and tests?

Number of times had

or how many times it burned in your chest?

Vibrations and frequencies?

Machines and readings?

But we all know love

is a feeling,

you can't measure a feeling.

No it's not even a feeling,

it's a way of being,

it's what made you start

breathing,

it's more than a feeling,

it's connecting,

it's freeing,

no

it's nurturing-

it's exceeding

It’s revealing

It's believing,

it's an innate knowing

that love is everything

inside and outside of you-

within you and around you,

it's me and it's you,

it's everything.

How can you try to count the uncountable-

the infinite.

We are one within it,

we are it.

Your heart knows it,

so show it.

 

That is how I look a fool for love everyday.

Because if love is everything,

then everything is done from love,

even things that don't seem it on the surface,

it all has to do with love,

or lack of love

which is fear.

Would you rather do nothing out of fear?

Or know that of all the things you could look a fool for

you knew it was for love!

 

I would rather risk for love than anything else.

It makes me feel alive to live from my heart-

my love takes me on my journey's adventures.

Love is my north

and fear is my south.

And I'm heading North baby.

I want to explode out of the top of the world

and accelerate into space

with love on my back-

ascending

higher

and higher

into the infinite.

You should try it.

 

Just smile baby,

you know how to do it.

You did it once before,

actually even more:

Every time you opened your eyes

and you fell in love with what you saw

for no reason except for the realisation

that it was there for you to stare at

in amazement and appreciation

that we exist.

That you exist!

how could you not love and laugh at this?!

Whatever it is that you witness,

it's all ridiculous

it’s bliss.

So don't be so serious

and just smile baby

because love exists.

And you are it.

 

Smile you say?

Why would I smile in this

Hurricane

This storm

This tornado

When I’m a toothpick

Suffocating in play dough

You don’t know me

How could you know?

Oh baby, I do know though.

I’ve been shadowed by the dark side of my moon

I’ve been shallowed and shriveled

And swallowed like a soup fly in a spoon

I’ve been broken and unbroken

And broken and unbroken

And broken and unbroken

And broken more times than you know

 

I’ve slept on streets

I’ve had my beats

I’ve had my heart ripped out

And apart by beasts

I’ve been host and prey

At my own insecurity feasts

I’ve felt the boiling loss

of my loved one’s defeats

I’ve sat in the dungeons of unfleeting sorrow

Overwhelmed by endless frosting heat

Fallen into voidic caves with no concept

Of the hope of tomorrow

 

You’re right

Maybe I can’t relate

If your life has been filled

With nothing

But hate

But I do

understand

pain

There is only one room for it

No matter how you fell inside

Or which of the many doors

you were shoved through

We’ve all been there together

Except you couldn’t see me beyond the curtains

Surrounding you in the darkness.

 

Do you love your pain?

I love mine

Because it reminds me

that I’m alive

And that

I can feel

It means

I’m real

Which is

surreal

And that makes me smile again

and gets me back on my feet

Pain is cleansing when you let it out

and let it go

If you hold it in

there won’t be room left

in your heart

For the seed to show

it’s budding beauty

 

Do you really want to paint your room with pain?

Barricade with shutters the window to your soul?

Hoping it will protect you from future rains

Enclose yourself furthermore inside those darkened walls?

And by doing so
dull your inner glow.

You are a flower of life!

How else will you blossom

if you block out the light?

Let the seedling at the depths

of that dark gorge grow

Let pain break open your barriers

So the waters of love may flow

Let it open you

So you may know what it is

That makes you hollow

What makes you brew

What makes you bruise

What makes you blue

What makes you low

What moves you and drives you

Guides you and defines you

So you may know

who

you

are!

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